Transpacific: Part 1 - Sydney

This is the first post detailing my month-long excursion in which I basically live on a plane. I'm not saying that I'm a jet-setter or anything, but by mid-May when I return to Auckland I will have spent 53 hours in air transit, covering roughly 41,000 kms (25,500 miles, not quite around the world). There's only so many times you can watch the new James Bond movie (which was crap) on a 15 hour flight.

Luckily for me from a financial perspective, most of my trip is funded by Siemens Healthcare and the University of Auckland. And they even booked my plane tickets and a few accommodations:

"Doctor (not a real doctor)" Eric Schrauben. Please don't steal my Qantas points.

My first week has been spent in Sydney, ("the Harbour City") Australia. From a tourist's standpoint, it has not been a productive week. I've spent the majority of everyday in a classroom at the local Siemens Healthcare Education Centre learning how to manipulate MRI scanners in C++ programming. This is what the (capital A) Adults would label a 'business' trip, ugh. The course is located just off the campus of Macquarie University, which is really nice and new and beautiful, but also about 45 minutes from downtown Sydney via public transit. So yeah, it's been a little dull. The good news, aside from my cushy air-conditioned hotel room, is that I got most of Sunday to explore Sydney on my own. 

Let me just say this, in a few sentences, to point out how quickly someone can (seemingly) fully explore a city when they are by themselves. Travelling in general by yourself just goes faster. Instead of worrying about the rest of group staying together, you just go. The same goes for a new place; every tourist attraction takes so much less time to experience/see when you don't have to take a plethora of photos with other people, or discuss its beauty, historical significance, overcrowdedness, overratedness, etc. It's not necessarily better, just different, in a faster sort of way.

Anyway, this is precisely what I did in a 6 hour period in Sydney on my only free day, which happened to be mostly cloud-covered and muggy.

For my Auckland friends. This is what traffic-free Auckland looks like at 6 am on a Sunday morning. Astounding I know.

Even though Australia and New Zealand are relatively geographically close to each other, the similarities are only relative. I've gotten used to the flora, fauna, and food of Auckland. But in Sydney these are just different enough that I felt obliged to take a few pictures:

Bird of Paradise outside of Siemens Healthcare in Macquarie.

Sulphur-crested Cockatoo, surprising in size and audibly distressing.

Australian white ibis. A strange combination of vulture, goose, and heron. I was entranced by and hated these, simultaneously.

All the macaron flavo(u)rs. Designed by celebrity chef Adriano Zumbo, dubbed Zumbarons.

Sydney Chinatown. I'm a sucker for big rainy-day bowls of steaming spicy Ramen-esque things.

I spent several hours walking near the Sydney harbour. The city has a truly excellent waterfront. Sydney is probably most well-known for its opera house, which doubles as a dish-drying rack if looked at from the correct angle:

There are so many other comparisons. Source.

Really though, it is an impressive piece of architecture. And to think it only took 15 years of mind-bending architectural and engineering design and execution.

Iconic.

Iconic x 3.

Iconic x 20 + night filter.

I guess it's generally a thumbs up for a city or place if when I'm leaving I wish I had spent more time in it. Sydney made me feel that way. 

Now for the next portion of my trip - Chicago/Madison/Michigan. I'm coming home (-ish).

Cheers!

Bonus:  My favorite (most noteworthy) pieces from Australian artists at the Art Gallery of New South Wales:

At least it took good care of its teeth.

Yes. I get it. I like it. I would put this on my wall.

Please make your own assessment (hint - mine is not positive).

Rotorua, (s)Wellington, and the Coromandel Peninsula (again)

Next weekend I'm leaving New Zealand for the first time since I arrived in late July 2015. Rest assured it's not a permanent departure. But it has been eight months since I've stepped on Kiwi soil, and flying away from it feels monumental somehow. My sojourn over the next month will include a week in Sydney, two weeks back in the States, and a week in Singapore - a real jet-setting lifestyle. My basic plan is to let the west to east jet lag be offset by drinking and eating and the eventual east to west jet lag. "If I never sleep I can't get jet-lagged," the man with one pupil more dilated than the other screamed into at own reflection.

Before I embark on that trip, which I will dutifully write about here, I wanted to make sure that I equally diligently wrote about three of the weekend trips I've taken (that is, Rhiannon and I have taken) in the last couple of months. All locations are on New Zealand's North Island, all are drive-able (kind of) from Auckland, yet the three are distinctly independent, giving wholly different appreciations of NZ culture and history and geography. 

* * *

First up is Rotorua, a 2.5 hour drive south of Auckland. Chronologically it makes sense to describe this trip first (since it happened in mid-February); from a journalistic perspective it's also a good place to start, because things can only improve relative to Rotorua. Imagine the boiling mud pools and steam that stinks of rotten eggs and weirdly colored stream beds indicative of Yellowstone National Park (admittedly very cool and eye/ear/nose-catching). Now imagine that geothermal stew mixed with the utter kitschy-ness and money-grubbing over-priced merchandise and all-this-tourism-is-just-a-facade-covering-up-rampant-violence-and-poverty feeling that, say, Niagara Falls or the Vegas Strip, evokes. At some point in the recent past the local council decided to make the sacred Maori locale of Rotorua a tourist haven (read:  trap) where one can pay out the ass to get some 'authentic' cultural Maori experiences. That's all I have to say about Rotorua. 

Here's some boiling mud:

Everyone come sample Rotorua's stomach-churning primordial soup.

For some reason this makes me think of the movie Congo.

But it wasn't all bad. There was a decent grocery store in town with cheap wine and pummelos (look and smell delicious, but overall underwhelming in flavor), and it supplied our camping excursion outside of town. In fact, leaving Rotorua in any direction brings you to a number of lovely places, such as the adjacent Blue and Green Lakes:

Didn't capture them at their greenest (left) or bluest (right), but you get the idea. 
Note my fancy unintended J.J. Abrams lens flare.

  
Or to relaxing hot pools fed by naturally boiling water tucked into a remote valley:

Boiling spring water, instant pore-opener.

Ultimately the camping at one of the nearby tucked away lakes made the weekend worth it. But I definitely do not recommend Rotorua as a destination for tourists, not when there are countless free and more interesting/beautiful places to see nearby.

Not a bad view from the tent door. Hobbit feet.

* * *

Next up is Wellington, New Zealand's capital city, located at the southern tip of the North Island. And for a special treat here is Rhiannon's guest telling of it:

"Wellington - You can't beat it on a good day". The city's unofficial catch phrase is spoken in various tones, depending on whether or not the speaker believes that the 30 days of good weather Wellington receives per year allow it to reign superior as a place to live. Fortunately for Eric and I, we were there for one good evening, a full good day, and a following good morning. 

Wellington is widely regarded to be the cultural capital (as well as the regular capital) of New Zealand. There are cool bars, cafes, shows and markets. A larger-than-usual percentage of the local population wear fashionable hats (which is an impressive practical feat given the high wind speeds). We found our way to one of these cool bars on our first evening. The Library bar, situated off one of the main streets, is set up like the inside of a boldly decorated 1970s home - if that home were to comprise only of a series of living rooms. Sipping on cocktails (their specialty) we pondered the purpose of the presence of a bathtub in the middle of one of the lounges. No conclusion was reached.

On our second evening, we trailed Yelp and Google (how great is technology) around the city in our quest to hit up the trendiest and most interesting spots. Highlights include an Asian night market, a very confusing, unstructured experience at a brewery tasting, a bar with great beer (though I'm pretty sure the bartender made up the ingredients; "grapefruit and, umm...lemongrass?") and a cafe with a string jazz quartet which transported us to a world of sophistication and relaxation. In contrast, the evening ended in a tiny underground bar that smelt strongly like garlic butter, packed with hip people listening and dancing dangerously to a Russian Gypsy Jazz trio.

After a day of eating and drinking everything in sight, it was necessary to partake in some exercise on the final morning. Now, as you will know from watching LOTR, every walk in New Zealand must be accompanied by epic music. It was therefore only appropriate that as we started our march up Mount Victoria, a local brass band set the mood by playing the national anthem, followed by a series of other of grand brass pieces. This reassured us that our walk up the hill was important and for the greater good of Middle Earth as we know it.

The Madison of New Zealand! But bigger, and with hills, and a movie special effects studio. Also, one of the best places for expats to live!

Bravo, Rhiannon. Wellington also has a free national museum, Te Papa, where medals vaguely reminiscent of 'participation awards' are on display:

The Self-congratulatory Iron Cross. The Medal of Honor and Give Yourself a Pat on the Back.

Someday I'll start an Instagram account where every picture is me looking bored with aloof animals.

Maybe most importantly, Peter Jackson's special effects studio, The Weta Cave, is tucked into a sleepy neighborhood near the Wellington airport. All of your favorites from the LOTR are on display:

Checking out disturbingly real nose hair and snot globules. "They have a cave troll." 

Wearable Hobbit feet. As noted above, these are superfluous for me. Embrace your heritage.

* * *

Last up was a trip over Easter weekend. In New Zealand, Easter is celebrated as a major holiday. Both the Friday before and the Monday after are national holidays, meaning everyone has a 4 day weekend. USA needs more Christian (or Jewish or Hindu or Islamic or whatever) holiday four-day weekends.

This gave me a chance to settle a personal vendetta that had been stewing in the back of my mind since late October. Faithful fans and loyal readers of my blog (pretty much just Dad) will remember that Rhiannon and I had planned a weekend camping trip to the Coromandel peninsula. They will also remember that it had to be cut a day short after I succumbed to a mysterious food-borne illness, causing me to become violently sick. 

Well this time we came back with a vengeance - and stayed in a resort called Nature's Window Retreat tucked away into the Coromandel range.

In case you wanted to know what I thought about it, here's my TripAdvisor review (yes I opened a TripAdvisor account just to post this):

Lassitudinous? Thinking you'll never trump your torpidity? Mollify your mind. My prescription - Nature's Window Retreat. 

No need to worry about subterfuge here - what you see is what you get. And what you get is very good. Sure I could extol the virtues and state of equanimity offered at this hidden oasis:  unwinding by an infinity pool that peers out over the mountainous rain forest, sipping Pinot Grigio in a blue-lit hot tub under night time raindrops, waking up to a steaming pot of coffee and homemade toasted muesli with fruit and yogurt, or luxuriating in a plethora of tranquil nooks tastefully decorated with hand-made Balinese furniture and sculptures. 

But I don't need to do that, because you can rest assured that Mark and Lisa will assiduously see to your every need. 

Too wordy? Says a lot without really saying anything? If you said yes to both of those questions then I did my job perfectly.

Cheers!

Bonus: Here's a picture (back and front) of a hedgehog that got stuck running away from us in a driveway. Adorable. I can't recall if we just left it there to die or pushed it through.

My worst spelunking nightmare. 

Tawharanui (ta-far-a-noo-ee)

Rhiannon and I, on consecutive weekends awhile back, made the quick 80 minute drive up to Tawharanui Regional Park. It has a beach. It has a native bird sanctuary. It has great camping too. And hiking trails. Oh and rock pools. I'm just really excited to tell you about it.

I have to admit that after the extreme uniqueness (is that a thing? If something is unique it can't be anymore or less unique, right?) and breathtaking views that constantly smacked me in the face and occipital lobe on the South Island, I didn't really know if I would capture that feeling of awe again on the North Island. After all, there are a lot of pretty beaches and views in and around and near Auckland, but constant availability makes me unconsciously take them for granted. 

The other thing that the South Island has on its side, and I just realized it as I started typing this, is the relative lack of crowds. Even though Milford Sound and Mt. Cook and the glaciers are the most well-known sights in NZ, they aren't easy to get to. That makes the number of people cramming themselves up and down hiking paths and along the narrow roadways limited. One thing I really like about travelling is the perception, whether real or not, of doing something that is rare, of experiencing a place at a certain time that not many other people in the world will ever do. Much of the South Island gives you that feeling - setting up camp in dense and shrouded woodland, kayaking underneath a waterfall, being one of ten or so people at a reflective Alpine lake. 

Near Auckland, the beaches are often pretty populated. Not like Copacabana crowded, but you definitely don't get the sense that you're experiencing it on your own. As an occasional hater of crowds (not strictly agoraphobic, just don't like them), this can be pretty annoying. Tawharanui, due to its relative lack of fame coupled with the fact that you have to drive on gravel roads for several kms before reaching the park, doesn't suffer from these crowds nearly as much.

All of this is to say that if you arrive at Tawharanui on a clear Saturday summer's eve (which we did the first weekend there), you get the whole damn thing practically to yourself:

Smiling because no one's here.

A dusty sunset guides us to our picnicking location.

Action shot! Caw-ca-caw-ca-caw!

I mean this particular evening was incredibly clear, like contemporaneous gigantic moon-rise and sunset clear:  

The moon races above the opposing burning horizon.

And then some humans got in the way.

Descend a few vacant steps, slip your toes into the world's softest sand, and let your cares melt away.

I mean just look how empty that is. Also, pretty.

And this was mid to late January, so the water was perfect for swimming.

Picture of Rhiannon testing the water and taking picture of surf. Included:  no one else.

Did I mention it was a really clear night?

You get the point, so here is an artsy photo from atop a nearby hill/rock. It was a really great rock.

So like, job done, right? Some amount of travelling was performed. I've shown you a really nice evening spent in a vacant and beautiful regional park. I probably convinced you that it's totally possible to find a not crowded beach near Auckland. 

But wait, there's more. The next weekend, Rhiannon and I returned. We suspected that we hadn't seen everything Tawharanui has to offer. We bivouacked in a lovely little camping area surrounded by some pretty odd looking native birds, called Pukekos (poo-kek-oh):

I suspect these would be extremely delicious.

Back to the beach, where washed up dead things and rock pools provided hours of entertainment:

Yes this is a penguin. Yes this is sad. And yes it was poked with a stick.

Adorable, prickly, and deadly. I'd say this pufferfish employed excellent camouflage.

The beach's rock pools, which span probably 4-5 acres at low tide, are home to crabs and mussels and sea slugs and numerous types of fish, but by far the best thing caught us completely by surprise:

This legitimately freaked me out as I was a half second away from stepping into this pool.

We could simply goad the octopus into chasing us out of its pool. Clearly guarding something.

"You kids get off my lawn."

So cool and unexpected. We spent a solid half an hour with this octopus, eventually finding out it had a nearby (lazy and useless) mate. We came back an hour later to find it chasing away small crabs from a different pool. Those pictures are great, but the video below does it proper justice. Thanks Tawharanui for giving me my favorite nature encounter in New Zealand to date, and for giving me a jolt of uniqueness and awe once again.

Cheers!

Awkward People, Beautiful Backdrops

I had originally planned to have one last South Island trip blog post in which I showed you a ton of the really majestic postcard-esque pictures taken by Joe with his expensive camera and outdoors photography expertise. It would be called something totally predictable like "Pack Travel Part V." Then I started looking through the photos and changed my mind completely...

People spend a lot of time trying to have the perfect pose for pictures. Don't believe me, a quick search of 'selfie posing techniques' revealed this, and this, and this.

While a great picture of someone (you, a loved one, Barry Obama) can get a lot of likes, and maybe even some stalkers, the funny and awkward pictures are the most memorable. In our modern social media driven society, how often do people post the embarrassing pictures? The ones that are ruined by the face or pose the person(s) is making in it. Without further ado, here is a gallery of these photos, from the archives of Joe Katarksy, taken with the beautiful backdrop of many New Zealand scenes. I'll also be providing you with a plethora of synonyms for 'awkward', though here is a more complete list. 

At Castle Hill:

My ungainly hobbit feet are proficient at gripping rocky surfaces.

K:  Just leave me here, save yourself.
L: K bye.

I actually think is a pretty cool picture. I mean just look at the bill of this Batman hat. 

I spy with my little eye:  something veiny, clearly very dehydrated. 

At Arthur's Pass:

I don't really understand why Joe took this rather cloddish picture of two random women. Or why he shared it with me.  

An unfortunate yet excellent example of why sunglasses matter.

Campsite at Lake Pearson:

The sun sets over a tent that highly educated fools ungracefully took way too long to set up improperly.

When you live out the back of a car, heavy-handed splash-of-water 'showers' and sandfly repellent applications are a must.

On the hike up to Mueller Hut at Mt. Cook:

The exasperated look of "We've been climbing stairs for an hour and aren't even halfway to the summit yet."

Joe's unwieldy enthusiasm after reaching the summit. 

Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, Eric. 

The South Coast at sunset:

Again just a pretty cool picture. I'm only awkwardly in it to demonstrate the reflective sheen of the receding tide.

Into the Fiordlands:

I believe Michael is air-drying his hands here, but I like to think he's displaying his gangling T-Rex pose.

In which Lee poses quite normally, Michael takes his power pose, and I generally ruin the whole damn thing.

And again with the inelegant pointing at the camera. You like that?! 

Rhiannon thinks this a good advertisement for cold-weather gear.

And on the kayak trip in Milford Sound:

An amphibious mountain man; up close and personal with Joe on the kayak.

The whole group, and probably our best picture together. Not that awkward if you disregard the spray flaps.

Okay maybe a lot of those pictures weren't awkward. So just to drive the point home, here's one more for good measure. On the flight back to Auckland:

Two weeks of thorny beard growth, sunburn, and hanging out with goofy people caused this.

Cheers!